Life is tough my darling, but so are you

Life is tough my darling, but so are you. Stephanie Bennett-Henry

You never know how tough and strong you can be until you have a sick child. You want to run and hide. You get angry. You scream. You cry. You feel helpless. You feel fear. You don’t understand all the big medical words.

Confusion sets in. You feel small, helpless, weak.

You fall to your knees. You look to the sky. You pray.

You find strength. You find hope. You find understanding. You find peace.

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Did You Earn The Dirt On Your Jeans?

One of the first things I do in the morning is hop on my Twitter and see what is trending around the world. I mean so much could have happened in the six hours I was sleeping, right?

Most of the time I enjoy tweeting and drinking my coffee, especially when I read a story like the one from earlier this week. Get this, Nordstrom has designed jeans to look dirty. Like you have been rolling in a pig pen kind of dirty. The kicker, they cost $425, and people are buying them! (Yes, that deserves an explanation point.)

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First, let me point out that I am in no way a fashionista. I am not hip to cool trends. I am in my late 30’s, so I still think wind pants and flip flops are a great combo. And I live in Kansas; we get all fashion trends last. Ok, so my thoughts on these “trendsetting” jeans are, why? Are we so lazy that we want to give the perception we are hard working members of society? It’s like when you take a selfie and put a million filters on it to make your skin look flawless (ain’t gonna lie, I have done this). Or posting a status, on Facebook, talking about how awesome your life is, so others perceive you as having your shit together, but the truth is your spouse just left you, your kid is in jail, and your electricity will be turned off any day now. (Probably because you just spent $425 on a pair of dirty jeans.)

All week I’ve had these jeans on my mind for starters because the marketer in me is kicking myself for not thinking of this idea first. Just kidding (Well maybe). But it just reinforces the point on how we strive to be beautiful, accepted, wealthy, educated, well-groomed, organized, socially active, world traveler and an amazing chef. In real life, being just one of the items on the list of things above just seems to be to much work. However, on social media, you can be whoever you want to be with a simple click of a button.

It is a standard practice just to coast through with an entitlement attitude. Example, I am a marketing professional in the HVAC industry (Sexy work, I know. It’s ok to be jealous.), one of the biggest hurdles our clients have is finding reliable, driven, hard working people. I am not talking about just the iGeneration. It is my generation as well, the millennials.

I am so thankful I had adults in my life growing up who pushed me to become something real. I was taught to not be a lazy sack, work for what I wanted, and the rewards will follow. Now do I lose motivation from time to time, of course, I do. My point is we should be striving to be better people, better employees, better spouses, better parents, better sons and daughters, better neighbors, instead of better liars, better deceivers, better hiders and better cheaters.

The invention of social media, actually the invention of the internet, has made us lazy. (But for the record, online grocery shopping does not make you lazy.) It allows us to get sucked into a world which allows us to be something that in the real world we can’t be or should I say, “work at” to be. I’m telling you, when your mom would tell you that you could be anything you wanted to be when you grew up, she wasn’t pulling your leg. She was serious. If you did not hear that phrase growing up, you are hearing it now. You can be whatever you want to be. All you have to do is work for it. lazy-person

Fun Fact: More than 75% of people lie on social media, ranging from bio information to the photos posted. We read about our friends and followers doing awesome things with awesome people in awesome places. And here we are sitting at home, watching reruns of Cops on a Friday night. No wonder people lie on their statuses. Who wants to look like a loser?

So obviously, social media can make you depressed. It can give you feelings of unworthiness. Make you feel like you are not good enough. The facades need to stop. Back in the day, I can remember this thing called, daydreaming. It was a vision you would think about quietly in your mind, usually when you were doing something that bores you, like sitting in math class or rolling silverware at work. You could dream about anything you wanted from sitting 8cf2df4ae24c443f1e15f27138ba5a6don the beach to riding on a white horse with Fabio. (Google Fabio and you will see who I am talking about.) With the invention of social media, nothing stays in people’s brains anymore. We post about everything even if it is false.

Below is the order of status people post about the most. Just in case you were curious.

1. Attention -seeking
2. Selfies
3. Praising/sharing about kids/grandkids (This is probably one of my top postings.)
4. Secretly dissing people
5. Food Pictures
6. Pregnancy Updates
7. Charties/Donations
8. Pet Photos

Just to be clear, I am not dogging social media. When used for good and not evil, social media is an excellent tool to communicate. However, I am dogging the $425 pair of dirty pants, which brings me back to my original topic.

Raising two teenage daughters I see the struggles they face, They would probably argue and say social media doesn’t have anything to do with those issues, but I see what they share and like. I follow some of the people they follow. Social media brings insecurities and drama I could never image dealing with growing up. Why? Social media is always on, always updating and forever changing.

Ok, here is the warm and fuzzy take away. (Because every good blog has a moral or lesson to teach.) Don’t let the fake dirty jean wearers define who you think you should be. Don’t false represent yourself just to fit in. You will be unhappy, and eventually, your lies and deception will filter to the top and be exposed. And 99% of the time people can smell bull shit a mile away. If you want people to think you are a hard worker, then go out and work. Get dirty. If you want people to think you are organized, then buy a planner, show up on time and be prepared. If you want people to think you are wealthy, then go to college, invest in a promising startup or invention, marry into it. (The last one was a joke.) You want people to think you are well-groomed, then take a shower and get a haircut. You want people to think you are socially active, then go outside and talk to people. It is called an action. It is that simple.

Sidenote: However, if you are going to pay high dollar to make yourself look like you’ve been plowing a field all day, hit me up, I can roll your clothes around in the mud for half the price.

The Daily Post: Better

Daily Prompt – Competitive

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I am very competitive. I do like the feeling of winning something. From a game to an argument, winning and being competitive sparks a fire inside my soul.

My biggest competitor is actually myself. I compete with myself or than any one. I set expectations for myself and if I don’t reach them, I feel lousy and worthless.

I find it hard to relax as well. I can’t sit still until I have everything checked off my imaginary to-do list.

Do you every find that you compete with yourself?