Happy New Year! I can not believe it is 2014. I usually try to come up with some resolutions that I never keep. For example, eat healthy. Here’s the deal, I love food. I love food a lot. Why would I subject myself to such a resolution of torture? I always do. Then by Jan 20th, I have fallen off the healthy train and feel like a complete loser. And when I feel like a loser, I want to eat cookies. It is a never ending cycle. So this year, my resolution is to not worry about what I eat. I am going to eat and be happy. Now, I am not going to go crazy on stuffing my face, but I think an OREO a day will be ok. Probably even good for me. It is going to be awesome!
Another example of a resolution I make every year is to be more organized. This one isn’t really a struggle for me, but the priorities I organized are. So this year instead of sticking to a strict clearing chart or non-family things, I am going to rock family time. Hanging out with my family will now trump laundry. Well, unless we need underwear or something.
One of my other resolutions I make every year is to spend more time with God. I don’t know how many YouVersion app bible studies I started on my phone and never completed. You know what made me feel like winner? Getting email reminders that I am behind on my study of the 21 Days To Beat Depression reading plan. Then I would feel like God was upset with me because I fell behind. And guess what? I would get depressed. Go figure. (Insert chuckle here.) Anyway, with the events in my life the past few weeks, I have found that spending time with God is not necessarily about devotions or how many bible studies you can knock out, it’s about spending time with God anywhere at any time. For instance, in the silence of the morning while you drink a cup of coffee. Or reading your bible before you go to sleep at night. It is singing praises to Him while driving in the car. It is sharing His grace and goodness with others. God loves and hears me if I complete the bible in 365 days or if I close my eyes at my desk at work for 30 seconds and shoot up a prayer.
Now don’t misunderstand me. I do believe reading the bible is important for my relationship to grow with God, because the bible is how God speaks and teaches. And I love the YouVersion app. I actually use it a lot to look up scripture. But my resolution for 2014 is not to spend more time with God, it is to spend all my time with Him. Since God is always with me, might as well include Him in every area of my life. I am not going to worry about how many devotions or studies I can knock out this year. I am simply going to live and listen to the Holy Spirit.
If I had to wrap up 2013 into one word I would say, battle. It seemed like in 2013 I was constantly in battle mode with the evil of this world. From physical, emotional and spiritual. It spanned from finances to kids, feeling like a failure in my job and as a wife. It was just a struggle for me to focus on the goodness and glory of God. And then when things seemed to be heading in the upward direction, we got hit with Mallorie’s illness. Then the battle changed. The battle was no longer about me, it was about letting God take control and lead the battle. He took it from me. I was never meant to fight the war anyway.
When I think about the ending of my 2013, it is fitting because was shown that the best is yet to come. My focus isn’t on how can God help me, it is how can God use me today to help others. I know not every day will be prefect, but I rest assure that the God who holds me is.